The Butterfly Path

When someone is diagnosed with cancer, the default response is often framed as a battle. We’re told to “fight,” to “stay strong,” and to “never give up.” It’s a war narrative that implies that survival depends on our ability to fight hard enough, be brave enough, and push through the struggle with sheer force of will. But what if healing isn’t about fighting? What if healing is about listening?

When I was diagnosed with stage 3 bilateral breast cancer, I was a busy Mum of two young children, I had a full time job and a house to run. I was already experiencing symptoms of burn out and had no fight left! If this was a battle then I was going to lose. I needed to find another way of approaching this illness, one that allowed me to rest and be supported rather than engage in a relentless struggle.

As a psychologist, I have learnt that when someone is trying to force a particular outcome at all costs, they often need to slow things down, soften their approach and be open to help, support and guidance. There is a huge opportunity to learn and grow through adversity if we’re open to the change it can bring and allow ourselves to be supported and nutured through the process. We miss this opportunity when we refuse change and battle to keep things as they were before.

So, instead of seeing cancer as an enemy, I decided to view it as a messenger—an invitation to slow down, pay attention, and transform. Just like a caterpillar that enters the cocoon, I wanted to take a path which allowed me to surrender to a deep process of change.

Rejecting the Battle Narrative.

The war metaphor surrounding cancer can be exhausting and even counterproductive. It creates an expectation that healing is about strength and resistance when, in reality, true healing often comes from softness, surrender, and deep inner listening.

Fighting implies resistance, and resistance can create stress, which affects our nervous system, immune function, and overall well-being, but what if we didn’t fight? What if we allowed ourselves to be with what is happening instead of trying to conquer it? This doesn’t mean giving up, far from it. It means shifting our perspective—moving from war to wisdom, from fear to trust, from control to curiosity.

The Wisdom of the Body

Our bodies are not battlegrounds; they are ecosystems of intelligence, constantly communicating with us. When illness arises, instead of declaring war on our own cells, perhaps we could ask:

• What is my body trying to tell me?

• What in my life needs attention, love, or change?

• What aspects of my life are making me feel anxious or stressed?

• How can I create an environment—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—where healing is possible?

I made a conscious choice to honor my inner wisdom and have worked on tuning in and listening to that guidance. I trust that in addition to whatever treatment options I choose, my body has an innate capacity to heal when I support it with love, nourishment, and rest. This now actually feels like a challenge I can face and one that might actually allow transformation to unfold and my body to recover.

Embracing Transformation

Cancer provides us with an opportunity for transformation. There’s a saying that goes “you can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick”. If you want to heal and stay healed then something has to change. It’s a difficult truth to face, change can make us feel uncomfortable and sometimes we don’t feel we have the power to make things different, but it is always possible and what if life on the other side is even more bloody magical than the life we’re holding on to?

Resisting change can be one of the biggest hurdles to overcome in the healing journey. The butterfly does not fight its way out of the cocoon—it dissolves and then re-emerges, completely transformed. This path I have chosen to take is about embracing change, trusting the process, and allowing healing to come from a place of deep surrender rather than struggle.

Healing is not about returning to who we were before. It is about becoming something new. When we stop fighting and start listening, we open the door to profound transformation—not just in our bodies, but in our entire way of being.

So, what if healing wasn’t a battle? What if it was a metamorphosis?

What if, instead of fighting and battling cancer, we allowed ourselves to take the butterfly path.